Complaining about money isn’t a bad thing. However, because money is an emotional subject, it’s necessary to proceed with caution. Everyone’s financial situations are different and therefore people will have many opinions about the subject.
No matter how much we have, money is one thing we think we have too little of. That’s completely OK. I’m definitely working towards my enough number. The number that will lower my stress significantly and ensure that my financial security is taken care of.
That number is something closer to $1,000,000. That’s when I know work is optional. I’m working because I want to, not because I have to. That’s when complaining about money will be almost nonexistent for me. Everyone’s got their number.
My ambitious number is something closer to $10,000,000. However, I know when I’ll feel like I have enough to mentally take it easy. Working for money because you have to doesn’t feel as enjoyable as working because you want to. Work to live, not live to work.
Complaining about money is completely OK. Our lives are not fixed and we are going to need different amounts at different parts of our lives. There are many do’s and don’ts, however. Some people absolutely do not want to talk about money and it’s a nonnegotiable for them.
It’s a fine line to walk.
Complaining About Money: the Do’s
The first do when complaining about money is for you to SMASH that social share button and post to your favorite social media! Your friends might not be aware of the intricacies when it comes to discussing money and the more people know, the better.
So with that said, let’s go into the do’s of complaining about money.
1) Pick Your Battles
Some money troubles are unavoidable. Sometimes, you’re going to have to accept that you spent $1,000 to fix a car. Everyone goes through financial emergencies at some point in their life. Therefore, if you start complaining about a $1,000 spending you just did, people talk about their problems in return.
It will backfire. Pick your battles when it comes to complaining about money. People are not sympathetic creatures towards others and if you start talking about your problems, people will start talking about theirs and how much worse than you they have it. They think it’s a competition.
It’s a pretty interesting social phenomenon. Once you get tangled in that competition web, it’ll be very difficult to unwind from it. Therefore, talk about money problems with your closest ones who are going to understand and talk it out with you. Not the ones who wants to one-up you.
2) Know the Money Etiquette
Don’t complain you’re not making $200k to people you know or think are making $50k. It’s just not realistic, nor will it be relatable so you can get good advice to fix your problems. The money etiquette is not complaining about money when the differences are so drastic, it doesn’t make sense.
Complaining is going to make the both of you further apart than closer together. It would be nonsense that you were outbid by $1mil for a $10mil mansion you were bidding on when the person you’re talking to is barely scraping by. It’s all about finding common ground with the other person.
Another money etiquette is when a friend lends you money, you pay them back. You don’t try to weasel out of it because they’re your “friend”. If you can’t afford to pay someone back, don’t take on debt in the first place.
There are many money etiquette rules like that that you should follow, especially with your friends.
3) Know Your Audience
Some people just do NOT want to talk about money at all costs. Some people are very private about things such as their salary or how much they pay for a service. If that’s the case, then it’s time to respect their wishes and not talk about money.
If they don’t want to talk about how much they’re getting paid, it’s not time to try to force their hand. It’s time to remain silent and move on. It’s a non-negotiable for them. Complaining about money means you have to think about who your audience is.
You see their facial expression when you start talking about money. Their facial expressions say everything about how they feel about the topic. Money is a highly sensitive topic that many either love to talk about but many more even dislike talking about.
Complaining about money should be sparse and even when you do, the audience has to be thought of.
4) Going to a Money Expert Helps You
There are endless Twitter accounts who know a thing or two about money and teach others on how to get rich. The one caveat is that just cause they have a fancy degree and call themselves “financial advisors” does not mean they know what they’re talking about when it comes to money.
Money experts know what they’re talking about because they became millionaires themselves. Degrees and credentials don’t make someone an expert. Actual real life results make them an expert. Then when you meet a real life millionaire and you also want to be a millionaire, what do you do?
You listen to them. Some advice may not be applicable like, “if you want to get rich, you have to start your own company”. But money will be applicable like saving and investing your money over the long haul.
Money experts know what they’re talking about and know how to solve your problem when you’re complaining about money. They’ve been through it all and they can help you.
Complaining About Money: the Don’ts
So now that you know what to do, let’s go over what not to do when complaining.
1) Don’t Pick a Bad Moment
You can’t complain about your salary to your boss who isn’t happy with your performance. Or a boss who happens to be in a bad mood. It doesn’t matter how good they are at controlling their emotions. They’re going to have to battle their emotions endlessly while they listen to what they need to do to help you.
Even if are having a bad day themselves. That’s just not an easy thing to do, even for the most emotionally disciplined. You can’t bring the money subject up if the timing is not right. Not just with your boss but with everyone. Social situations are delicate enough already.
Add money into the equation and you’re adding fuel to the fire. Money is a touchy and a sensitive subject you don’t want to get wrong. Complaining about money takes a level of skill that is learned through trial and error. Timing is certainly one of those skills.
2) Don’t Complain About Luxuries
These are classic first world problems. The fact that there wasn’t enough chocolate to enjoy in the 5-star hotel bedroom isn’t going to cut it as a valid money problem. Or that you couldn’t buy a $50k car because the car dealership just didn’t have it available.
Complaining about money when it comes to luxuries is a big no-no. These days, people are just struggling to put food on the table with hyperinflation going on. Some people have a hard enough time putting gas in their cars. Let alone go on a vacation.
Luxuries is another touchy subject when it comes to money problems. Mary Daly says she “doesn’t feel the effects of inflation anymore“. She drew backlash from that comment because she makes something like $420k+.
However, the full context is that while she has enough, she knows many others are feeling the effects of inflation. The public backlash shows that even basic living necessities are almost taken as luxury goods these days.
3) Don’t Complain to an Untrusted Person
Some people WILL one up you when you complain about money. “Oh yeah? That’s nothing”. Some people just have to be the center of attention and think their problems are worse than yours so they deserve the spotlight more.
When you complain about overwork the first things your boss will do is, “I had it bad too”. How do I know that? I’ve had that happen to me. Complaining about money requires that the person is a trusted person as well. Otherwise, it will backfire and you will end up feeling even worse.
When you complain to your parents how you’re living “paycheck to paycheck” because of inflation, they will fire back and say, “guess who did that too in their 20’s? me”. Yep. People don’t care about your problems, people are not sympathetic towards your problems. All they care about are their own.
4) Don’t do it Publicly
You just never know who is listening, watching, or paying attention. Stealth wealth is the rage these days. There’s no reason to complain about money publicly because the general public is not with you. It’s very difficult to sway the general public to your side.
No matter how good of a person you are. Complaining about money publicly isn’t the best move because the best that’ll happen is you’ll get ignored and the worst that’ll happen is you’ll get mocked. People generally do not like people who complain about money.
Stepping away from public scrutiny and remaining private is a simple and quiet way to live. It takes much mental power to see how the public is going to take what you said, the wording you use, and the like. Stepping away from the spotlight and not doing it publicly is the way to go.
What Do You Say to Someone Complaining About Money?
So then what if the reverse happens to you? What if someone is complaining about money to you? There are many ways to handle the situation that makes both of you come out ahead. One is, if you don’t want to talk about money, politely decline to talk about money.
There’s nothing that says that you have to talk about money if you don’t want to. If you don’t want to, you should be allowed to walk away from it all. After talking about money all day, there are some times where I just don’t want to talk about it. And that’s exactly what I say.
However, the second option is, if it’s within your area of expertise, you could always talk it through with them and work out the problems. Maybe you’re going through the same problems yourself. Or it could be a problem that you guys could solve together.
Whatever option you choose, there’s always an optimal choice between each of them. For me, depending on the type of money problems they’re talking about, I choose to engage more often than not. If they’re complaining about not getting the yacht they wanted, then it turns me off.
Complaining about money is fine as long as someone is taking steps to solve that problem. Complaining for the sake of complaining is bad but complaining for the sake of bettering yourself is good. I’m trying to make my readers richer one step at a time.
Complaining About Money is a Sensitive Issue
Money is already a sensitive issue. Complaining about money goes even a step beyond that. As a general rule, people already do not like complainers. Imagine how people feel when others are complaining about money. As if everyone doesn’t already have their own money problems to begin with.
Therefore, there are dos and don’ts when it comes to talking about money and moving forward to solve money problems. There’s nothing wrong with helping each other thrive and level up when it comes to their finances. Everyone is trying to get richer than they woke up.
It takes some trial and error before finding out what is socially acceptable and what is not a generally accepted practice. One of the biggest complaints about money is that people don’t have enough of it. There are always ways to achieve upward mobility.
It just takes decades of work, dedication, and patience in order to get there. However, once we get there, the journey would have all been worth it. When I first started my personal finance journey, my biggest complaint was that I was living paycheck to paycheck.
So I started doing something about it. I looked for higher paying jobs. I started side hustles. Investing became my best friend. There was no reason why I shouldn’t save more than 50% of my income every year, no matter how much it hurt. I am thankful I made those choices.
