I am scared is a feeling that many people have in their lives. Anyone who ever says they’ve never been scared in their lives are full of themselves. People feel this emotion because it’s an evolutionary advantage. The biggest step to take is to figure out the root cause of the issue.
When I was in college, I was scared that I would not be able to find a job. It was rejection after rejection after rejection that I’ve been getting. Then when I see all my friends getting job offers on their first try that made me feel like I was doing something wrong.
As it turns out, there was nothing wrong. All I needed to do was put in the reps and everything was going to fall into place. I got a job offer and was waiting on a couple of other job offers as well. I was getting multiple offers!
Never mind the fact that college graduates enjoy some of the lowest unemployment rates ever. It was still scary.
I ended up worrying about nothing. Soon, you are going to overcome any of the hardships you are going through and think back to why you were even worried in the first place. If you find yourself saying I am scared, it may just be unfounded fears preventing you from getting after your goals.
However, that doesn’t mean that your feelings are invalid. Without fears, we would’ve never progressed further because fear is a phenomenal motivator to get out of bed in the morning. We’re afraid that if we don’t get up and go to work, we don’t eat and put food on the table.
The key is to use fear as a great motivator for your goals.
I Am Scared: Reasons Why
There are distinct reasons why you are saying I am scared. Below are three reasons why.
1) Uncharted Territory
You’re in a new situation. In 2022, I moved to Austin, TX for a new job all the way from Houston, TX. That was a brand new and uncharted territory for me. You could be saying I am scared because you are not as familiar to the new situation as you were before.
Change is great. We grow when we are at the most uncomfortable points in our lives, not when we are at the most comfortable. Uncharted territory means you get to experience new things, for better or for worse. This is the biggest reason why people feel fear.
It may just be a new relationship or a new job or anything of the kind. Whatever it is, the new territory and surroundings are foreign to you. We like it when things are familiar. It makes us feel safe and comfortable.
The only way we progress upwards is to put ourselves in situations where we are not comfortable. Which means being put in a new situation is actually a good thing.
2) I am Scared: Fear of the Unknown
The future is always unknown. You just never know if the world is going to implode tomorrow. In 2022, there were reports of China invading Taiwan, which had the potential to cause a depression that’s even worse than the Great Depression. The unknowns are always there.
We are living in a fragile world where each country has the power to absolutely decimate the entire world around them. The fear of the unknown is the reason why you are saying I am scared. I get it. Life is not a certain thing. We just never know what will happen to us tomorrow.
However, that doesn’t mean we should be living to be prepared for the unknown. We shouldn’t change course or our direction by any means. We should continue to live life as normal. Everyone has the potential to be struck by lightning or get struck by a meteor.
That doesn’t mean we drop everything to prepare for that rare chance that it might happen. We still live life as normal.
3) Stress
People feel stress for many reasons. It could be stress from a relationship or stress from a job. Whatever the reason may be, stress is a great cause of fear amongst people. It’s not anything that we control because it’s a biological response that we feel.
Our body produces stress hormones, even if we don’t want it to. That’s how powerful stress is. It has the potential to consume and take over your life even if you don’t want it to. That’s the reason why you are saying I am scared. Life is a very stressful venture.
Especially when we are in our 20s because we’re still trying to figure everything out. That’s just how it is. There are people who go their entire lives trying to find meaning and are unable to because life is that difficult to figure out. It’s a natural reaction because everyone feels stress at some point.
Some are just better at hiding it than others.
I Am Scared: What to do Next
So then once you say I am scared, what do you actually do next? There are 9 actual things that are within your control that you can do!
1) Figure Out the Root Cause of the Problem
What’s actually causing you to say I am scared? Is it a fear of layoffs? Is it a fear of losing a relationship? Whatever the case may be, figure out the root cause of the problem. Your feelings are totally valid because there are things in life that we truly value.
It may be the fear of losing a loved one because they’re battling cancer. For me, personally, it’s losing financial security. I cannot absolutely stand losing that financial security because whether we like it or not, money is how we put food on the table.
The root cause of the problem is there. You don’t just feel fear out of nowhere. There’s a specific reason why you are feeling your fear hormones out of balance than normal. The best course of action is to find out what’s causing it. Then you can take steps to put the fear back into its place.
It will eventually be possible to rid that feeling.
2) Forget About the Future, Take it Day by Day
The United States and the major developed world have a culture where they value the future. However, stop thinking about the future and take it day by day. There’s no point in thinking 1 year ahead if you can’t even get through today.
There’s a reason why tennis players in grand slams tournaments don’t look to who’s going to play in the finals. They look to who they are playing next. Getting ahead of themselves is a surefire way that they will not win their next match.
There’s no point in looking at it one year out because what matters to you is tomorrow. You don’t shape your future from today. You shape today from today. When you are saying I am scared, take things day by day and face obstacles as they come.
You will fare out and come out ahead taking things day by day than by thinking about the future all the time.
3) I Am Scared: Consider Therapy
Therapy is amazing. I did therapy in 2022 and it did wonders for my mental health. Some therapists are downright awful. But most therapists are great. It’s definitely a risk but they are trained psychologists who know why you are feeling a certain way or know what’s causing you to do so.
When you are saying I am scared, it’s time to talk to a therapist. Someone who understands and you can be vulnerable with. Let’s be honest. Your friends are great but that doesn’t mean every single one of your friends are. Some are not going to be understanding of what you’re going through.
Even if that someone is paid to be understanding, it can actually be a better option than talking to your family member or parents. I know that I’ve benefitted quite well from therapists. They were a key reason how I went through my car accident after experiencing mental trauma.
4) Let Time Pass
Time heals all wounds for a reason. It’s not a cliche. Time is especially great at healing physical wounds. However, it’s even better at healing mental wounds. When you are saying I am scared, something caused you to feel or think in such a manner.
That’s where time comes in. No matter how much I was hurting, if I just let time pass, there wasn’t anything that I couldn’t overcome. That heartbreak or that pain that comes with feeling loss, I overcame everything as long as the years passed.
Time is such a wonderful tool that you can utilize. There’s something liberating about breaking free from everything and taking a step back. When you cut off all contact from the entire world and all you have to worry about is yourself? It feels amazing.
In a year or two, you may be wondering how you ever felt such a way, ever.
5) Slowly Ease into Normal Activity
Sooner or later, you will have to ease into normal activity. However, you don’t have to dunk all of your body in the cold water at once. You can take your time with the process. You can dip your toe in and stay there for a couple of minutes.
Then you can slowly put in your feet. And so on and so on. It’s not time to take the plunge with the entire might of your will. When you say I am scared, it’s time to slowly ease into normal activity. For me, it took months before I was comfortable putting myself onto the highway.
It was when my therapist told me, “no, you need to get back onto the road, you can’t live a normal life without a car” that I slowly started to ease myself back into normal activity. I didn’t know how hard life was going to be until I experienced it myself.
Life WILL throw curveballs at you. It’s never a straight line. It’s your story to experience challenges and overcome them.
6) Exercise and Eat Well
You cannot be mentally fit if you are not physically fit. If you are saying I am scared, it’s not time to go all out on fast food. It’s not time to sleep in until 11am every weekend. It’s time to take care of your body because that’s what’s going to give you the fuel to keep going.
No matter how hard things got, I never stopped working out every weekday. I never stopped eating organic foods that are good for my body. I always rejected sugar, as well. When you take care of your body, your body rewards you with energy in your life.
I’ve been at a place where I didn’t have energy and my body didn’t cooperate with my mentality. That’s when it got scary because I didn’t feel like I was in control of my own body. When you catch yourself being scared often, you should at least be taking care of your body.
Not only are people going to take notice, you are going to appreciate the effort as well.
7) Sleep Well
Sleep is the best free thing we can experience in our lives, by far. Ever. When you sleep a solid 7 – 9 hours per day, you feel great. When we don’t sleep well, we get groggy and easily get angry and sensitive to even the tiniest of things.
However, when you sleep well, your mentality toughens up. You are less likely to say the words I am scared. Your mental strength completely and totally depends on your ability to sleep. Every day when I fail to get good sleep is completely solved when I sleep well the day after.
For me, I sleep well when I go out in the sun and get some sunlight during the day. At least be outside for a while before coming back home. I haven’t failed to get sleep as long as I followed those rules. My body needs to be physically outside for me to fall asleep.
This tip may help you and it may not, however, it doesn’t hurt to try it.
8) Accept that Everyone Goes Through this Cycle
Those who look like they have everything put together? That’s only an image. There’s no one that I know who haven’t felt fear. There’s people I know who hides it very well. But there’s no one I know who haven’t actually felt fear in their lives.
Everyone goes through the phase. Whether they like it or not or whether they’re willing to admit it or not. People say I am scared more often than they think. There’s no one who went through life perfectly without any setbacks or failures that go their way.
You are not alone and you are not special in avoiding this emotion. You will have to figure out a way to rise above and come out on top. And you have the full capabilities to do so. It may not be tomorrow and it may not be one year from now. But you will get to the top some day.
Whether it’s recovering from feeling the imposter syndrome at new job or anything in between. You have the power to overcome.
9) Believe that It Will Get Better
Everyone eventually comes out of the I am scared feeling. Everyone eventually figures out a way to rise above everything and come out ahead. As long as you believe that you can pave the way forward and move forward, you have a good chance that you actually will.
As long as you take it day by day and put in effort every single day, you will get there. No matter how many failures and rejections you experience. No matter how bad things may seem. You are in full control over what happens in your life. You’ve already made it this far.
It’s not going to happen to you overnight. You, of course, will have to take proactive steps in order to rise above and get to your preferred destination. It will eventually get better. Even if it takes five years to get there. As long as you are patient, you will eventually get there.
There’s nothing that you can’t achieve.
I Am Scared: You Can Do Something About It
You don’t have to feel like a sitting duck in your life. You are the protagonist in your story. It’s your life and your story to create and tell. You can absolutely do something about it. If you are worried about getting laid off, you can always create side hustles and create multiple income streams.
If you are worried about the breakup you just endured, there’s plenty of other fish left in the sea. Even if 1% of the world finds you attractive, that’s 80 million people who find you insanely attractive who can’t keep their eyes and hands off you.
When you say I am scared, that’s a completely normal feeling. You are not alone. I’ve been there and billions of other people have been there. Imagine how people felt during the ’07 – ’09 financial crisis. There were so many people who got laid off and thought the world was ending.
That event made them even more resilient and tougher than before. They figured out how to navigate the murky waters of the world and still come out on top. You are a winner who can do the exact same things and come out ahead by the end.
I’ve continuously said the words I am scared throughout the 2022 bear market and I know there’ll be many more bear markets for me to say I am scared on. The key is to take things day by day and focus on the things that you can control.
Whatever happens next, as long as you gave it your best effort, everything is OK.
I Am Scared: What to do Next Shortlist
- Figure out the root cause of the problem
- Forget about the future, take it day by day
- I am scared: consider therapy
- Let time pass
- Slowly ease into normal activity
- Exercise and eat well
- Sleep well
- Accept that everyone goes through this cycle
- Believe that it will get better
