Self dependency is what makes you successful. Other people have their own agendas that they have to take care of before they think about you. Think about the last time you depended on someone and how many times that that person let you down. More times than one.
One of the big highlights of the Asian culture is that the older ones take care of the younger ones. As the youngest in my family, my parents spoiled me to no avail. Anytime I needed something done, they didn’t involve me in the process, they just did it for me. While it seemed like they were helping, they were actually harming me.
I never figured out how to cook until I started college. Every time my parents went out of town or the country for an extended period of time, they froze homemade food for me. Additionally, I never figured out how to know if my body was telling me that I’m unwell. My parents just took me to the doctors without explaining anything to me.
After decades of this treatment, I depended on my parents for everything and anything related to my life. All they told me was to focus on school and that’s all I did. That’s all I knew how to do after I graduated. I was a noble goal but there’s much more to life than school.
After years of independence, I finally reached the point of self dependency. It will open your life to better possibilities more than you can know. It is a horrible feeling when you are dependent on someone else for your survival. Once that someone is gone, you only have yourself at the end of it.
That’s not a good position to be in.
What is Self Dependency?
Self dependency is when you are dependent on yourself and yourself only. No one else’s efforts matter in your life but your own. Not your significant others’, not your parents, not the governments, but your own efforts. It’s the best form of independence there is. At the end of the day, you live with your own choices.
When the coronavirus pandemic came, there were many who looked to the government to help them. The government delivered with many coronavirus relief checks. However, you shouldn’t have been dependent on them to bail you out in the first place. The extra money should have been a supplement, not a life saver.
What if the government decided not to hand out money to its citizens? Would you have been fine then? The ones who were outraged that the government gave them so little are looking at it wrong. The government’s agenda is not to help their own citizens’ interests out. It’s to help their own interests out.
The citizens’ interests come second to theirs. If you are self reliant and self sufficient, then you are prepared for any disaster that comes your way. Disasters in life WILL happen, it’s a given. There is no one on Earth who didn’t face adversity.
Since everyone else will be busy putting on their own life jackets to save their own life, you should practice self dependency as well. Put on your own life jacket to save your own life. It’s the best form of life there is. There are many people who would love for you to be dependent on.
They are driven by profit or ego. Don’t let them. When you have the option to walk away and say no is when you are on your way to independence.
Why Practice Self Dependency?
One self dependency act you can do is to SMACK that social share button and post to your favorite social media! If you don’t want to do it for anything else, please do it for me. I would appreciate it because it helps out the blog a ton once I see how I can add value to my readers.
So with that said, let’s go over the reasons why you should practice self dependency. Your life depends on you actually practicing this out in the real world. Once you master it, no one in the world can control you. Ever.
1) No One in the World Cares More About You Than You
The one who cares more about you more than anyone in the world is not your parents, not your kids, significant other, grandparents, best friend, or close relatives. It’s you. Others may come close but the fact remains that you care about yourself more than anyone in the world.
Before you can think of helping someone else, you first think about yourself. Do you have food, clothes, and a roof over your head in the first place? Is your absolute basic need taken care of? Can you survive to the next day? These things matter to you more than anything else in the world.
Therefore, you should practice self dependency because other people are not going to do it for you. They are not going to go out of their way to visit you to feed you and pay your rent for you. People are naturally self interested and others do not care about you.
Learn how to do things by yourself and take care of yourself the right way. You are the most dependable person in your life, anyway.
2) Otherwise, You are at the Other Person’s Mercy
When you are not self dependent and want things from someone else, you are now at their mercy. It’s not going to be about what they can do for you, it’s about what you can do for them. Without self dependency, you need other people’s existence for your own existence. That’s dangerous.
Think about the last time you went and applied for a job. In the interview, did they sell you on what they can do for you? Most of the interview is spent on what you can do for them. Once you go to them, you have to bend to their will. It’s not about what you want, it’s about what they want.
Trust me when I say they will be demanding of your time and life. People love to take if they think they can get away with it. They want to extract as much value that they can out of you before they move on to someone else if you burn out. Don’t put yourself at the other person’s mercy.
Self dependency avoids all of that.
3) You Can’t Get Something for Nothing
When you want something from someone else, they will want something in return. What people want in return is more than what they give you. Think about it. By objective standards of measurement, smartphones add 5 figures worth of value to your life.
However, very few people are willing to pay $10,000+ for a smartphone. The expensive ones sell for $1,000s of dollars. People love to buy because spending 4 figures to receive 5 figures of value is worth it. That’s how people view you when they see you want something from them.
For every dollar they pay you, they expect two dollars in return. When I sued my insurance company, I researched and talked to lawyers to see if they’d be willing to help. Once they realized it’s not a lot of money, none of them offered to help. Then I had to sue the company by myself.
Get to a point of self dependency because you cannot get something for nothing in this world. What others want from you will be more than what you give them.
4) Political Power Changes Happen Often
In the United States, the presidential election happens every four years. Every four years, there’s a potential for a peaceful transfer of power. Governmental officials will ALWAYS come and go. With new governmental officials come a different set of beliefs that translates into actual policy changes and votes.
With a constant change in political power over Democrats and Republicans, that changes the game for you as well, depending on who you are. Therefore, when the government will be for you for four years, the government can be against you in the next four years. You can’t depend on that constant change of power.
Self dependency will let you ignore all of that change in power. I don’t care about who is in the presidential office. All I care about is how I can make the most of the situation and always come out on top. It doesn’t matter if a Democrat or a Republican is in office. I figure out ways to profit from that.
That’s how powerful self dependency is. No matter what happens in the outside world, you will always be safe.
5) Others are Already Busy
Other people don’t have time to give you the attention, time, and money that you need. They have their own lives to take care of as well. Even the ones who want to help you have no other choice but to take care of their own needs first. Every person on Earth works under the same 24 hours in a day.
One third of that is devoted to sleeping. One third of that is devoted to their jobs helping someone else be rich. Then the final third is when they have the time to help you. However, if they have the choice between helping themselves and helping you, who would they pick?
They are already too busy with their lives to help you, even if they want to. Self dependency allows for you to understand that and not take it personally. Instead of asking for someone else to give something to you, give time to yourself. It’s much easier and much more guaranteed than the alternative.
Things to be Self Dependent On
So now that you know it’s advantageous for you to practice self dependency, let’s go over the concrete things you should be self reliant on.
1) Financial Independence is the Ultimate Self Dependency
I’ve gotten fired from internship before. Do I care? No. I am currently LeanFIRE, meaning I can live in a ramen noodle budget for the rest of my life without lifting a finger. However, do I want to do that? Although I could, I don’t want to live that lifestyle. However, it’s still a good safety net in case I get fired from my job tomorrow.
If, in the best case scenario, they give me a severance package, I would be very well off. I’ve also rejected 2 job offers so far this year. That’s how great self dependency is. I say no to jobs and projects that doesn’t interest me. I make the choice and do not care whether the receiving party likes it or not.
Financial independence gives you the power to walk away if you want to. If you enjoy your job, you can continue doing it, no problem. No one controls you. You don’t rely or depend on someone else to give you a paycheck so you can put food on the table. You do it yourself.
What a great life.
2) Emotional Self Dependency
Practice being alone. There are people who absolutely cannot go to Starbucks alone. Or to a concert. They have to have someone with them to accompany them. That’s emotional dependency. You don’t need to live with a roommate for the majority of your life to feel fulfilled.
You don’t need your friends’ permission or have to work around their schedule to visit that museum. When you are self reliant, you can enjoy those activities by yourself. When you are feeling down, there’s no need to talk to others to make yourself feel better. You already know of pick me up activities that you can do while others are busy.
I personally enjoy walking around the neighborhood when I’m particularly down and need to cool my head down. I also exercise when I need to blow off steam. Whatever you choose your pick me up activity to be, do it. There’s no need to depend on others to give you a pep talk because you are already self sufficient.
3) Knowledge
These days, knowledge is free. However, with free comes a cost. There’s a higher chance others are telling you the wrong information if the information is free. For the most part, there is a swarm of quality and accurate information out there. When you practice self dependency on knowledge, you are very well off.
You can research things on Youtube, read books, and actually talk to people in order to find the information. For example, basic car things like changing the AC filter or replacing the coolant levels. That’s something you can easily watch a video on and follow through to completion.
No one can overcharge you for doing it for you when you already know how to do it yourself. There’s always a way for you to get it for cheap. It’s up to you to find it. If there are self made millionaires correctly teaching you how to be millionaires for free, there’s other forms of free information out there as well.
All you have to do is find it.
4) Taking Care of Yourself
Self dependency is all about taking care of your physical and mental health. If you are approaching burnout, you should be taking PTO days to recharge. Or cancelling weekend plans with friends so you have time for yourself. Learn what it means for you to feel great and take care of yourself.
I had no idea that I had digestive problems until years passed. I’m regretting all the time I wasted not trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I also have neck and chest pains on a day to day basis. I don’t think they will get better. I’m constantly running from one doctor to the next to find out what’s wrong with me.
Don’t be like me. If you feel that there’s something wrong and something’s not right, see a doctor. You should never live day to day life in pain. A normal, healthy person feels no discomfort, pain, or bad at all every day. Anything less than that should be fixed immediately, if possible.
Don’t have the “I’ll get to it when I have time to get to it” mentality when it comes to your health.
Self Dependency Leads to Freedom
Self dependency means no more asking for permission. No more asking if something is OK or acceptable to do. You just go out and do it without caring about the consequences. No one holds control, power, or sway over you. That is freedom at its finest. From a young age, we are taught to ask for permission for things.
Looking back, I can only see how ridiculous that was. We have to ask for permission to go to the restroom??? Think about that. Authority brainwashes us from a young age because they want to control us. There’s nothing in the world that I hate more than authority. Someone who tells you what to do and what not to do.
When you are self dependent, you don’t have to put up with any of that. You can just walk away and not care whether they get mad or not. The worst that they can do is that they will cut off any relationship. Who cares? You’re already doing well by yourself anyway. They can’t hurt or touch you.
Freedom feels amazing. Doing things when you want to do and what you want to do, how you want it done. Imagine not having to ask for permission to take a vacation. I recently took a 2 week vacation after originally wanting a 3-week vacation. My bosses negotiated it to two. What BS.
I earned those vacation time by working hard throughout the year and my bosses wanted to limit my vacation. Not having freedom is sickening and tiresome. Get to a point of self dependency as soon as you can because the sacrifices will have all been worth it. That’s when you have your life all to yourself.
