Being in therapy has gotten much more mainstream in recent years than ever before. Especially and even more so for men. No longer do we stigmatize either gender being in therapy and taking care of our mental health. However, it can actually be very daunting for the first time person.
You just don’t know what to expect about being in therapy if you’ve never experienced in firsthand. As a result of my car accident in early 2022, I elected to go through therapy because my mental health took a huge toll as a result of the accident. I had nightmares and a general sense of uncomfortableness.
There was no control in my life anymore. Nothing I did felt like the right decision. However, my therapist was patient and my 3 sessions that I had with her allowed me to move forward with my life. 3 30 minute sessions were highly impactful for me to get my mind back on straight.
I was a generally negative person around my friends and family. I’m generally a cheerful person but that was something that I’ve never felt before. Every day felt like a battle and I didn’t want to think straight nor did I know how to think straight.
Being in therapy definitely alleviated and solved a lot of the mental problems that I faced during that dark time. It was much needed because I was just starting another job and my mental health was everything in order to perform well and pay them back for hiring me.
Mental health matters more than people give it credit for. Our mind runs our entire world.
What to Expect Being in Therapy
So with that said, let’s go over what to expect being in therapy. Everything that’s depicted in TV is not the most accurate picture.
1) There is no “Aha!” Moment
There will not be one moment where everything makes sense. Therapy is not this magical activity that fixes and solves your entire life with one stroke. It takes multiple sessions over weeks and even months in order to recover from everything. Your therapists are people too and not magicians.
But even more so than that, they are understanding people. Maybe because they’re paid to be an understanding person but nevertheless. My friends did not take my negativity kindly. They didn’t try to give me tough love or any amount of understanding. My friends just kept criticizing me.
They didn’t understand. Being in therapy is a completely different experience. Even though there’s no one “Aha” moment in which your therapist fixes your entire life, being in therapy is worth your while. Some therapists are downright bad but most are generally good at helping you overcome trauma.
You don’t have to try to fix your psyche alone. There are trained professionals who can help you do that and save yourself a lot of time.
2) Healing Happens over Time
Time heals all wounds. You just have no idea how much time will heal your psychology if you just let time pass. Yes, it may not fix your mindset 100%, but it will make you feel better than before. This is completely new territory. Being in therapy is not supposed to completely heal you.
It’s supposed to help heal you. Then you have to put in the work that the therapists recommend. AND you also have to let time pass. It may not take weeks. It may take months or even years before something finally removes itself from your memory.
The reason why my car accident was so tragic was because I was already going through a bout of depression. A business idea I tried out wasn’t working and the overall bear market made my mood tank to close to zero. Being in therapy wasn’t a luxury, it was a necessity.
And I don’t regret that decision for a second because I really needed it.
3) Therapists Tell You What You Need to Hear, Not What You Want to
When I was in therapy, my therapist was an understanding person. i told her all of my problems of being out on the road, how now I am scarred and how it’s hard for me to even think about getting back out on the road. Cars scared me and it was hard to do basic things like go to the grocery store.
However, my therapist, after listening to all of my problems, gently told me, “no, you have to get back on the road, it’s impossible to live life without driving in America”. I was shocked. I thought she would give me reasons how I’m right to feel what I was feeling. However, I found out that wasn’t the case.
A person who is literally paid to be understanding was gently telling me that I was complaining way too much. That stuck with me and that helped me pull myself up from my bootstraps and then put in the work to change.
I needed to hear those words because feeling better about myself and not being able to drive is worse than feeling bad about myself and still being able to drive. Being in therapy will help you improve yourself.
4) Being in Therapy Doesn’t Solve Everything
At the end of the day, you’re still responsible for your life. No one is coming out to save you. Being in therapy doesn’t mean they will solve every single one of your problems for you. Therapists have their own lives and problems to deal with at the end of the day.
They’ll do everything they can in order to help you and heal you. But that doesn’t mean they will solve and do everything for you. They’re not your mom or dad. And even then your mom or dad shouldn’t be the ones to help you with everything in life.
At the end of the day, you’re responsible for your life. It’s one of the rules of knowing how to be a go getter. Your problems are your responsibility. People can help you so you feel like you have the energy to solve those problems. But people can’t solve those problems for you.
It’s time to manage expectations so that you are not caught off guard after the end of every therapy session.
5) Therapists Don’t Ask You How Everything Makes You Feel
For some reason, TV and people like to portray therapists as these creepy entities who lay you down in a couch and ask you how something makes you feel over and over again. That’s not how it works. My therapy sessions were all over the phone. Didn’t have to dress up or drive.
Some old school therapists do lay you down in a couch so that you’re comfortable to talk to the therapist. It’s like talking to someone else without actually feeling like you’re talking to a stranger. Being in therapy is nothing like what you see on Hollywood. They’re actually rather pleasant.
You’re just really having a conversation with them. Even though they are analyzing what you’re saying psychologically so that they know how to best respond, it feels like they are not. They are very understanding people who know how to draw parallels between trauma and recovery.
My therapist was married with kids to attend to. She was a real life person and we just ended up having a conversation in our sessions.
6) Therapists Are Human Beings as Well
Ask them questions, get to know them as well. My therapist also went through multiple car accidents in order to recover and move on from them. There was a flood in the middle of the highway, in which she couldn’t stop the car in time. The car got completely submerged in water.
Then she had additional car accidents from which she could relate to me with. That helped me because not only did it let me relate to her, it made me feel like I wasn’t alone when it comes to car accidents. It’s one thing to know you’re not alone, it’s another to know you’re not alone with someone else commiserating with you.
Misery loves company. Being in therapy doesn’t mean that you’re going to be the only one talking about your experiences. You’re not going to be nor do you have to be the center of attention throughout the entire session if you don’t like that kind of thing (I sure don’t).
Therapists are like your friend who happens to be paid to act in your best interest.
7) Therapists Do Not Constantly Analyze People
My therapist wasn’t consistently analyzing every single word I said and putting them through a microscope. Yes, she did analyze and draw parallels between what happens and my loss of control that let me make sense of the accident. However, she didn’t constantly analyze me.
She didn’t ask me how I felt every few seconds. They spoke to me like I was a real person and I spoke to her like she was a real person. Being in therapy doesn’t mean that you are a test subject who people are going to see which words trigger you.
Being in therapy means that you are going to be talking to a friend and having a conversation. Grabbing some coffee or tea in the meantime. Let time pass, catch up, see what you’ve been up to, what progress have you been making, and the like.
If therapists consistently analyzed people, they would not be in business. The good ones are genuine and really want you to succeed and recover.
8) Therapy Does Not Mean You’re Weak
There is a stigma, that’s slowly going away, that says if you’re a man in therapy, it means you are weak. Nothing could be further from the truth. It means you are strong for taking the right steps in order to better your life. There are many who are living in denial where they think they are in great mental shape.
When they are actually not. Being in therapy will help you really be in great mental shape. It has nothing to do with strength and whether you’re stronger than someone else. It does have everything to do with are you willing to put in the work to put your life in a better direction.
When I told one of my friends that I was going to therapy, he immediately told me, “I’m proud of you”. While THAT comment really made me feel weak, going to a therapist did NOT make me feel weak in the slightest. Strength comes in not caring about what anyone else thinks.
Not from caring about what other people think. As long as you’re doing things that’s best for yourself without hurting others, you’re doing the right things.
9) Therapy is Effective
Some therapists are absolute duds. Not every therapist is effective at helping your problems go away. However, most therapists are absolutely great and worth the money. Being in therapy is a good thing because it shows the positive steps you’re willing to take in order to improve yourself.
Some people downright refuse to get help because they think they have everything figured out. Because they think they are above it all. However, that’s not the case. No one has everything figured out. Even the billionaires don’t have it figured out because they get multiple divorces.
Therapy is something that provides a necessary and positive service to society. No matter what others say. I wouldn’t have recovered as quickly had I not gone to therapy. Could I have recovered on my own? Maybe. However, being in therapy helped the process go even faster.
It’s a powerful tool that not many utilize, especially men.
Being in Therapy is a Good Thing
Too many people think therapy means that you have a problem. It means that you are so weak that you can’t figure out how to solve problems on your own. Here’s the truth. Yes, you DO have a problem. However, that does that mean that YOU are a problem. Everyone’s got problems.
There’s not a single person on Earth who don’t have problems. It’s your job to resolve and solve conflicts and problems. That’s how winners are made. Winners aren’t the ones who start out at the top. They’re the ones who figure things out as time passes and as things go.
Being in therapy did wonders for my life. It helped me see my problem in a way that I never would have learned how to do on my own. Therapists go through years of schooling for a reason. They went through years and years of schooling so that you can get the benefit of that schooling for just $100/hr.
Or whatever their rate is. It was worth it for me, given that insurance covered everything. However, I never realized just how great therapy is until I saw it and experienced it firsthand. It was my first time being in therapy and I would recommend it to anyone else going through trauma.
What you get in return for spending that money is well worth the money. Life is all about spending money in ways that provide the best ROI. The best ROI has nothing to do with money. Having great mental health is the greatest ROI of all.
I have been pleased with going to therapy and would recommend it.
Being in Therapy: What it Means Shortlist
- There is no “Aha!” moment
- Healing happens over time
- Therapists tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to
- Being in therapy doesn’t solve everything
- Therapists don’t ask you how everything makes you feel
- Therapists are human being as well
- Therapists do not constantly analyze people
- Therapy does not mean you’re weak
- Therapy is effective
