Financial security in a relationship is the most attractive trait in a partner. That’s how important money is in our romantic relationships. Whether we like it or not, we need money to enjoy ourselves in the relationships for a happy life.
One of my girlfriends tested me and joked that she “quit her job”. She was testing me to see what I would do. Then after some back and forth, I found out her real intent behind it. She wanted “security” and wanted me to take care of her no matter what happened.
Even if *I* had lost my job, even if I was going through hardship, she wanted me to take care of her without any objections. That relationship lasted two months. I couldn’t take care of someoen else that much like that because I couldn’t even take care of myself.
That’s when it taught me that financial security in a relationship matters a lot. It’s one of the most, if not the most factor in a relationship. For both men and women. I personally do not care if my partner isn’t rich but I do care if she doesn’t know basic financial literacy.
We would never be compatible. Financial security in a relationship is the most important factor for me as well, in choosing a partner. I would never be compatible with a high spender because I’m already a frugal person to begin with.
Although romance and love is important, at the end of the day, every relationship has a hint of reality behind it.
Financial Security in a Relationship: How Important is it?
Below are reasons how important financial security in a relationship is. We can’t let Disney lie to us that love and romance is the most important part in a relationship and marriage. That’s too idealistic of a world. We live on planet Earth and on reality.
1) Financial Security is the Most Attractive Trait in a Partner
Wallethub found that half of survey participants would break up with their partner if they spent money irresponsibly. More than half of Americans say irresponsible spending is a bigger turnoff than bad breath. These are eye opening statistics!
It’s not their good looks, great personality, or intelligence that matters the most in a partner. It’s their ability to manage their money effectively that matters the most. Financial security in a relationship is the most important trait to look for in a partner.
Personally, I do not want to date anyone who is bad with money. They don’t have to be great with money and make multi six figures. But they cannot be bad with money. That would be the biggest turn-off for me. Love and magic is great and everything.
But at the end of the day, being on the same page with practical things like money is what makes a long lasting relationship.
2) Financial Insecurity Causes Divorce
The second leading cause of divorce is money, infidelity being number one. It doesn’t feel good to always fight about money. Money is power and when we have a limited way of spending the money to our wants and needs, we fight with our significant other over it.
More often than we would like. I personally do not want a limited resource like money be the reason why my significant other and me fight all the time. That’s why I’m trying to be as financially independent as possible so that never becomes a problem in the first place.
Financial security in a relationship is so important that it determines whether you stay with the significant other or not. Life is stressful enough already and when we argue with the one we love the most over money that touches every aspect of our lives every day, it doesn’t end well.
Even though it doesn’t sound romantic at all, good money management is the foundation to build an everlasting marriage..
3) Financial Security in a Relationship: It Gives Options
Couples can’t have kids if they can’t afford them in the first place. Financial security in a relationship gives options for couples. I personally want kids and I refuse to get into a relationship until I have a solid footing to provide for myself in the first place.
Then I can think about financially providing for kids and so on. Kids are expensive and they’re only getting more expensive by the day. Rising cost of education, high inflation, and the like are biting the everyday person. Additionally, couples can’t take well deserved vacations without money.
We need time away from the everyday stresses of work and our friends. The only way we can take time away is with money. Having more options and choosing not to take them is better than having no options to begin with. We like to have choices.
When we feel like we have no choice in the relationship is when emotions turn sour. We feel trapped with no way out. That’s not a good feeling.
4) A Good Quality of Life
Some cannot live without having a great quality of life. Even though they can’t afford it. Therefore, they go in debt and buy the latest car and phones because they can’t live without a good quality of life. I personally do not have a good quality of life right now.
I’ll be the first to admit it. I live on a $1.5k/mo budget today so that I can live on a $15k/mo budget later down the road. However, very few people share in this level of thinking. Financial security in a relationship affects the quality of life of couples.
Some people are natural spenders and can’t live without living on a high rise in the middle of the city. Others are content living a quiet life far away from the mainland city. The compatibility between two partners means being on the same page about the quality of life.
Some are OK with sacrificing today for a better tomorrow while others are not. The quality of life is an important component to living with someone else.
5) Vacations
Vacations cost money. They are especially important when it comes to financial security in a relationship. It’s been 2+ years since I took a proper vacation and it feels like I’m going out of my mind. It’s especially even more stressful for a couple to not take a vacation for years on end.
Vacations are a necessary expense for a long-lasting relationship and for mental health. It doesn’t have to be an outlandish vacation. But a simple out of town trip to a nearby city does the trick. We need breaks once in a while and we are not meant to produce all the time.
When I took an out of country trip to South Korea in 2018, that changed me. That opened my eyes to see just how much the country I grew up in had changed. That was a life changing moment for me and it’s moments like that that make me really appreciate the stressful days even more.
Couples don’t just figure out the stressful parts of life together. They figure out the fun parts of life together as well.
6) It Builds Confidence
I once told my date my plans to start a business. I told her it had a large chance of failure and I could see the expression of her face change. She never talked to me again after that. Financial security in a relationship builds the confidence between the two.
No one wants to take a chance on an unproven person. No matter how much upside potential they show or have. Once I started increasing my net worth is when it became easier. I wasn’t stressed out as much and I could actually pay attention to my date instead of thinking how I’ll make the debt payment.
When I was $50k in debt, I felt awful. There wasn’t a way that I couldn’t focus on anything else but paying off the debt. Financial security is already important enough in general. But it becomes even more important when that responsibility is shared between two people.
It hurts when the money and finances aren’t in order. It hurts when you’re dealing with it alone but it hurts even more if it affects the both of you.
7) Financial Security in a Relationship: It Prevents Fights
Whether we like it or not, money is the leading cause of fights. One person is a spender while the other is a saver. It doesn’t make sense. Financial security in a relationship prevents those fights. Billionaires never have money fights with their spouse because they can just buy whatever they need or want.
One billionaire said all the sacrifices he made was worth it because he never has to worry about money ever again. No stress or worries. A stress free relationship is worth a lot, not just in monetary terms but emotionally. We feel stress when our partners have contempt over us.
A relationship without money fights is meaningful. Every relationship goes through fights, with money being the leading cause. When there’s no money problems to worry about, then everything falls into place. It’s stressful to fight with the one you love about money.
Money is already a stressful topic to discuss in the first place. It’s even worse when it’s a fight with someone you love.
8) Financial Security Encourages Marriage
The survey by WalletHub found that almost half of Americans would not marry someone with bad credit. Not even being poor but just by having bad credit. Financial security in a relationship encourages more marriages because no one wants to marry a financially insecure person with no vision or plan.
Marriage is not all sunshine and rainbows. The foundation of marriage is first built with security which is usually helped by having money. Everything else can be worked on but having a lack of money is a deal breaker for the majority of Americans.
Marriage is a wonderful thing but the practical things matter first and foremost. Things like having a high income, good net worth, and a good credit score matter to partners. The ones who don’t agree with the basics of money are not heading in the right direction.
The rest of things like in-laws, kids, and the like can be worked on. Money is a non-negotiable in a marriage.
9) It Reflects the Couples Values
One person might be a spender and the other might be a saver. Whatever the case is, the couples’ values should be aligned for a long-lasting relationship. It doesn’t matter what we say our values are. We spend money on things that give us value.
Financial security in a relationship shows what each person values. Are they a spender? Do they spend a lot of money on food? Education? Entertainment? We dish out our hard earned money for the necessities and things we value highly. We don’t just hand out money to everyone.
Others have to earn out business. I spend a lot of money on quality food. About $500/month. Food is a non-negotiable for me because I need to spend money on quality food. It upsets my stomach otherwise and I cannot sleep as a result. That’s not good for me.
We use money to reflect our values. Watching spending habits is a great way to figure out what each person in the relationship values.
Financial Security in a Relationship: My Story
I’ve been on a couple dates in 2022. One thing that I found out is that the women valued financial security in a relationship very highly. One expected me to pay for her to-go meal and the other thought she was so far ahead of me and thought I was beneath her.
I had a net worth of $400k at 27 at the time and I was surprised she would say that. In any other case, all the women were upfront on how important financial security in a relationship was to them. They would never say it directly but they would show it through their actions.
I did not want to get into a serious relationship with anyone else if I didn’t already have a solid financial footing in place. The relationships that I’ve been through had one component that was central to everything. Money. It wasn’t romance, it was pretty much money.
It’s one of the biggest reasons why I wanted to be a millionaire before I got into more serious relationships. Financial security in a relationship is so important to me because I know how important it is to the other party as well.
It physically pains me every time I spend money because I know just how much my future is hurt by spending money. I do not like it but I know it’s for a better tomorrow that I know will materialize one day. Money is an integral part of our lives and anyone who tells you that money isn’t important is lying.
I’m glad I recognized how important it was early on in my life.
Financial Security in a Relationship Can’t be Ignored
Although it’s not a topic anyone enjoys talking about, money is such an important topic in our lives. Financial security in a relationship can’t be a second priority. It has to be number one. Some people just can’t live without a good quality of life.
Others can’t live without spending money on 2 vacations per year. Whatever the case is, money is such an important topic that it can’t be ignored between two people in a relationship. Especially more so if it’s a romantic one.
I personally don’t have a lot of wants or needs in my life and do not spend money that much. My quality of life is still great, though! And I know one day, my quality of life will outpace others’. Many others who spend money like there’s no tomorrow.
There are many divorces happening today because of money. Raising a kid is expensive and whether we admit it or not, kids see their parents divorce because of money. Kids shouldn’t have to see their parents fight over money. I personally don’t want to be married unless I have a solid financial footing.
Financial security in a relationship is such an integral part that it cannot be ignored. Two people in love isn’t enough. When there’s no stability and security, then we lash out at others. Unfortunately, we lash out at the ones closest to use first. Because they’re right in front of us.
No matter what others say, money prevented many divorces from happening and that’s a good thing.
Financial Security in a Relationship: How Important is it Shortlist
- Financial security is the most attractive trait in a partner
- Financial insecurity causes divorce
- Quality of life
- Vacationa
- It builds confidence
- Financial security in a relationship: it prevents fights
- Financial security encourage marriage
- It reflects the couples’ values
