The best way to improve financial security in a relationship is effective communication. We can’t read the other person’s mind and the best way to get on the same page about money is to talk about it. Money is such an important topic we can’t afford to be silent about it.
Money matters the most in a relationship. Natural spenders do not get along with natural savers. Investors versus spenders. I personally have a very business oriented mindset and that fills up the majority of my thoughts throughout the day.
Financial security in a relationship can be improved upon. It takes dedication and effort to improve upon it. The best part is that five years of targeted effort makes the whole world of a difference. A year is a very long amount of time, no matter what others say.
There are many couples’ stories of being in $100k of student debt together. But both found a way to dig themselves out of the whole and be completely debt free in just five years. It doesn’t feel so good sacrificing so much over those five years.
But the rewards are well worth the effort down the road. I’m personally glad I sacrificed so much in my younger years to get to where I am today. Financial security in a relationship can be improved upon but it takes much dedication to get to the top.
It’s a hard and long journey and road but the rewards are well worth the effort.
Financial Security in a Relationship: 9 Ways to Improve It
Below are the 9 ways to improve financial security in a relationship. Security and stability is everything between couples. Without security, divorces and fights happen frequently. It’s one of the reasons why I refuse to get into a relationship until I am financially stable.
1) Communication
Things like saving, investing, spending, and budgeting are the basic pinnacles of personal finance. It HAS to be talked about. It’s an absolute necessity. Financial security in a relationship improves the more we talk about it with others and make sure that we’re on the same page.
Most of my past relationships didn’t work out because of money differences. One was a huge spender and she would pick the most expensive restaurants to go on dates with. Of course, I paid for everything. The relationship fizzled out after 2 – 3 months.
Communication is such an important part of the relationship in general. It’s especially even more so important when it comes to money. Money is too big of a topic to not talk about. Everyone has goals and money is a tool to get to those goals.
There shouldn’t be any surprises between two people in a relationship. Especially with money. Couples should be comfortable talking to each other about money.
2) Financial Security in a Relationship: Lay Out the Non Negotiables
The non negotiables are things you cannot live without. You HAVE to have them, otherwise you will be miserable. For me, the non-negotiables are my investing rate. I have to invest a percentage of my paycheck every month in quality assets that bring me more money.
That’s a non-negotiable and it cannot be changed. Other non-negotiables include whether to buy a house, how many children to have, and which city to live in long term. Our non-negotiables are so important because it determines whether we should walk away from the relationship or not.
It’s so important that you cannot and are not willing to budge on them. Financial security in a relationship means laying out the non-negotiables. This isn’t about being stubborn. Some require compromise. However, these are things that you absolutely are not willing to compromise on.
No matter what and with zero exceptions. Laying out all the cards on the table helps on saving a lot of time.
3) Make More Money
Making more money is always a good thing. The best way to improve financial security in a relationship is to make more money. The more money we bring in, the more secure we feel. When I was making $125k, I felt secure. However, when I really felt secure was when I was making $200k.
The best way to build wealth and build security is not to save as much money as we can. It’s by making as much money as we possibly can. I personally only need to make $300k/yr to feel very secure. There are people who need to make $1mil/yr to feel secure.
I am not on that boat. In either case, the best way to improve security and stability is to make more money. An extra $100k in salary does more than an extra $50k in savings. Once your income increases, it’s harder for others to take advantage of you.
All you have to do is politely decline any “opportunities” they have and keep going about your merry way.
4) Pay Off Debt
Debt is one of the worst things to have on the balance sheet. Financial security in a relationship is improved by paying off debt. When I had $50k of debt on my balance sheet, I felt miserable. I felt like the bank controlled my time and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.
Americans were strapped for cash more so than ever in 2023. Credit card debt hit a record high in 2023 while interest rates hit a record as well. Americans relied on debt just to finance their everyday living costs in 2023. Consumers were hurting and were dealing with inflation.
It hurts as a single person to have massive debt to tackle. It hurts even more as a couple to have massive debt to pay off because we have someone else to blame. Neither will want to take 100% responsibility for the problem. Regardless of where the blame lies, what matters is solving the problem at hand.
Paying off debt does wonders for your mental health. When my debt balance was at $0, I felt like myself again.
5) Cut Expenses
When we have low expenses, we have more security. It gives us more confidence and freedom that if the income stops coming in, we could at least get down to our bare bones budget and pay our bills. Financial security in a relationship improves when expenses are cut.
I personally went down to a bare bones budget of ~$1.5k/mo in 2023. 2022 scarred me so much that I spent the least amount of money as possible. With a looming recession and massive layoffs at hand, I couldn’t take any chances.
That gave me much more confidence to prepare for the possible upcoming recession. That even if the worst case scenario happened, I had the ability to take care of myself financially. There are many who was at the brink of losing their homes as a result of a layoff.
That’s a scary position to be in. Cutting expenses is a great way to improve financial stability. We control what goes into the line items in our budget.
6) Cut Out Frivolous Spending
There’s no need to gamble. There’s no need to buy the latest Nicholas Cage pillowcase on Amazon just because. We frivolously spend more than we know and especially more so if we are in a relationship. We think, “we’re working from 2 incomes anyway, what’s the harm?”.
A relationship and marriage is supposed to lower overall expenses between two people. Rent can now be shared amongst multiple people. Financial security in a relationship improves when frivolous spending is gone. I spent too much in 2022 such as on an Audible membership.
Or buying Pan’s Mushroom Jerky’s because I saw it on Shark Tank. Even though it was delicious, I had no need for them. We need less than we know to live a fulfilling life. Too many people think they need to spend money to have a good quality of life.
That’s not the case. There’s many free events happening all over the city that we can take advantage of.
7) Side Hustles as a Couple Project
Two ambitious people in a relationship can start a side hustle project together. Side hustles are exhausting to do by oneself. It’s hard to find the intricate details that make a side hustle successful. Not only can the couple grow together through the project, they can make money as well.
Anyone who started a successful side hustle understands how difficult it is to make it successful, let alone profitable. The best way to improve financial security in a relationship is to make more money which comes from side businesses.
I currently run my Twitter page as a side hustle and it’s been very difficult to get to where it is today. I can’t imagine how much further I would’ve taken it if I had another person working alongside me. Business skills are invaluable in this world.
It’s even better when you have someone else navigating the tough landscape with you.
8) Never Blame
One day, your partner spends more than intended. Another day, you spend more than intended. Whatever the case is, it’s not the time to blame. It’s the time to solve problems and move forward together. There’s no place for blame to improve financial security in a relationship.
Blaming doesn’t fix the problem. All it does is it complicates the problem even more. Personal finance will be bad on some days and good on other days. Even as a single person, I have a hard time perfecting my personal finance habits.
It’s even infinitely harder as a couple because there are unforeseen events that happen all the time. Even more so with a child. Whatever happened, what matters more is making the decision together as a couple. Now is not the time to hurt the one who’s the closest to us.
Now’s the time to tackle the problem together and move forward stronger than ever before.
9) Financial Security in a Relationship: Put in the Effort and Never Give Up
It’s difficult. Financial security is one of the most difficult and time consuming journeys one will ever take. No one ever hands you a bag of money. You have to earn it. It takes a lot of effort, meticulous planning, and smart thinking to earn money the honest way.
Financial security in a relationship doesn’t just happen overnight. It happens over years and even decades of planning and effort. Many people give up on their goals after 1 year. Imagine how many more give up after 3 years. More than we know.
Three years is an eternal amount of time. I’m personally on my eighth year of the financial independence journey and I’m beyond tired. However, I’m never giving up because I know it’s for a better future one day. One day, it’ll all have been worth it.
That’s when I’ll spend to my heart’s desires. I’m completely OK waiting for the really good results to come.
Financial Security in a Relationship is a Non Negotiable
Financial security in a relationship is the most important factor for couples to stay together for the long term. It’s not love, it’s not romance, it’s money. That’s how important it is. It doesn’t feel good when we don’t have stability and security in our lives.
We value it so highly that the basic necessities of security is the foundation block of our hierarchy of needs. We can’t afford to be financially insecure because that’s a recipe for divorce and breakup. It’s hard enough to endure financial insecurity as a single person.
I can only imagine how much harder it is to endure financial insecurity as a couple. Whether we like it or not, when we feel like we are not in an equitable relationship, everything falls apart. We hold resentment towards the other person.
Even though we know we shouldn’t. When the foundation blocks are set with great financial security, it puts our mind at ease. Our mind is the number one driver of our decisions. When we feel stressed, we outwardly let it out onto the world.
When we feel calm, we act accordingly. The relationships that I’ve been in failed due to a lack of financial security in the relationship. I personally wasn’t financially secure enough to give the women what they wanted and needed. Then the relationship eventually failed as a result.
It’s good to learn the lessons early before the mistakes become expensive.
Financial Security in a Relationship Can be Improved
It’s easier to improve the financial security in a relationship because there’s two people working towards the same goal. As long as the communication is met, the two people should be motivated to move forward and upward as a team.
It’s hard to do it alone. I’m trying to do it alone and I can confirm it’s one of the most difficult things I’m ever pursuing. It is hard work but the rewards are well worth it. When I hit the $500k net worth in my 20s is when I thought I “made it”. At a 4% withdrawal rate, that gives me $20k/yr to spend.
That’s more than enough for me to live on. Imagine if two couples each have $500k to their name. They instantly become millionaires overnight. Financial security in a relationship can be improved as long as the couple is on the same page about their finances.
We can’t afford to ignore our finances because of how important it is. Especially more so in a relationship. Our life is a result of our choices and two people making choices that better the team is a beautiful thing. And something that’s more than possible.
All it takes is five years of meticulous effort and planning and financial security in a relationship can easily be improved. There’ll be many times when both question if the sacrifice is worth the reward. One day, it will all have been worth it.
Being rich is better than not having money. I lived through both myself.
Financial Security in a Relationship: 9 Ways to Improve it Shortlist
- Communication
- Financial security in a relationship: lay out the non negotiables
- Make more money
- Pay off debt
- Cut expenses
- Cut out frivolous spending
- Side hustles as a couple project
- Never blame
- Financial security in a relationship: put in the effort and never give up
